Purple haze!!!!!!!!

O well I guess......I'm a little unwell...coz I m not thinking (strange)..I m just recalling . I'm sure everyone must have been through that phase when the odds seem the most perfect feeling, ever. It's all him, or its all her, I don't know. ..whatever the fucking reason it may be ..who gives a shit,But it's just everything around yourself . That makes it so versatile. So perfectly ODD. So perfectly AMUSING but still so fascinating. So favorable that you just can't stop tripping on this feeling. Its like realizing there is very loud silence n not able to help..so sick at the same times..watta cocktail of feeling boss!!

Feeling like
'
like
'
'
'
'
It's like YOU just stepped outside
when everything was going right


This is how heart works ,
Strange are the ways ---it goes historical too!

Gyaan from my garden friend :)




1. Relax, man, go hug a tree.
2. Keep one eye out for the world and one turned inside.

I



It is so much easier to say things that you would love yourself to say- things that sound good, sane, progressive. It took me many years to learn to say exactly what I feel, even if it makes me look like a narrow-minded, possessive bastard to myself. It took me a lot of time to accept myself for what I am.


Saying what I want to say is important specially when the person matters more than the image of my self I would love to have. S/he could hate you for saying it, but in case, just in case s/he doesn't, you will be saved the agony of keeping up a false pretense or the fear of crumbling under it. In the end, whether it works out or not, it's definitely worth it.
I feel like I’m getting back to my roots. 
This blog was made for ranting, and I’m going to fulfill that purpose today. 
c my point is...
just because something is beautiful, doesn’t make it interesting. Often the opposite is true. 
Certainly humans are drawn to symmetry, order and perfection. But those things, while beautiful, aren’t necessarily very good at evoking an emotional response. There are nothing like flaws to get us involved with a piece. The flaws help us relate, throw off our expectations and make us think and feel more deeply about the subject. My general policy is to ignore things that annoy me (I’m going to be such a good psychiatrist)
 so I haven’t been paying much attention to being rational..idk being rational even add value to you..anyways ..
guess it was just another  introspective posts,
 I have no real conclusion. It’s interesting to analyze though !!

Whats happening !!!

I Dont call my friends,I dont pick up their calls (sorry GUYS)
I dont talk much nowadays (which is "so not me")
I dont say anything to my mom now...
I dont feel hungry (which is definitely not me)
I dont sleep..Thats understandable ;)
ppl ping- i gnore them (being visible) (okie thats rude i knw)
..........
life's become hectic, I must admit!
Anyway, today I am mischievously gleeful. 

There's a twinkle in my eye and a little butterfly in my stomach. 
Teehee! I am not telling you why :P :P :P HEhehehehehe...!
I'm torn between duty and individuality. Which one comes first!
What is it with me??? Why am I so affectionate? Or am I desperate?
 Ooooh... such a pain to try, understand and analyse your own psychology! And once you're able to, so hard to forgive others and yourself for being that psychological being!!!

Phases... I hate them!

Questions Questions!
How normal is it to feel that you're an option to people who are the priority for you?
How often is it normal to feel so?
How good is it for your psychological health?
How bad is it on your self esteem?
How do you get away from expectations?
How do you change priorities and make new ones?
How do you outdo yourself?
How, O How?!

REPORTING from nowhere!!

You think of start liking the comforts of clean air, plenty of greenery, embarrassingly wide footpath- not a hawker to block your way, or make you offers of questionable thingummies. Your office is a leisurely ten minutes' walk away. No mother to keep bugging you to go to sleep in time.(UNLESS U WANT TO)

But there are little things that suddenly catch you unawares. .

I am not saying I don't like this place. The people are blunt and it's impossible to have conversations with them. Everyday when I come back home from office I feel a strange emptiness inside me. I think of how hard I have been trying to talk to people. I genuinely try to like them. But I cannot. They have not heard of The Beatles and they don't know who Norah Jones is. The other day someone walked into my room while I was watching Summer With Monika. She stared at the screen for sometime and said don't you have some better movies? Non black and white? What do I say? I paused the movie and made polite conversations with her, apologizing for my clearly inadequate collection of movies.

All the people here are tech-retards. They know less about the internet or technology than any humanities people I know. They do not know what a browser is (well, many of them) or what a URL is for that matter. They can't differentiate between the internet and an intranet and have never heard about phishing or keyloggers. 

They are shocked to see how  I use keyboard shortcuts for most things. I regularly hear taunts about how I must have prepared for almost every thing.I smile awkwardly, not knowing how to react. I guess there are better engineers than these. 


And that will be the end of my rant for now.

THE STAY

THE BEGINNING..THE SUPPORT ..THE STAY!!!!

Hail Auto dudes!!



I have the ultimate "advantage" of living and working in that part of city where all autowallahs just Refuse to come .. infact one should learn the art of saying NO from an autowalaah.. in my 2 years in kerala after so much of research and analysis, ( naah i jus wanted to use those jargons for quite sometime!!) I realised that there are 3 sects of auto wallahs who prevail in each n every city n God makes sure that i meet every one of them!!!!
Sect 1 : Mr. "Nos": "Come Rain /Hailstorm/Winter We shall forever say NO to all chasmishs!!"
Me :"
Bhaiyya aluva Jayenge?" 
Auto dude : "Nahi"
Me : Achcha vyttila ?(towards oberon)
Auto Dude : Nahi 
Me : Theek hai ernakulam le chalo 
Auto Dude : Nahi 
I wonder whether he jus doesnt like my face(screw u !!!I say in mute version)
Solution :(Yes i have thought of solutions too.. ve not done my MBA for nuthing!!!) 
Ask him whether he will go to Paris or Dubai.. if he says "yes" then you have the liberty to say "aapko aapke auto mein wahaan koi jaane nahi dega"(nobody will allow you to travel there in your auto) and you can stick your tongue out too..
Sect 2: Mr. HopeGivers 
Now this sect is very focussed in their approach .. they will always be seated in their rickshaw with one leg on the seat and chewing gootka oblique smoking  .. they nod their head whenever they see some one coming out of the gate and give us the hope that Yes this dude shall not make me beg or plead to make him do his duty!!
I end up meeting such sects maximum times ..
Me : Bhaiyya ALUVA chaloge?
Auto Uncle : "thoooo" (that was the spitting of his gootka by the way)
Me : ivada? ! n frantically thinking pls pls pls say yesAuto Uncle : aluvale ivada pogandete??( spare my Malayalam) 
Me (thinking-- wow finally someone who will say yes) :station:) 
Auto Uncle : 
He jus doesnt say anything.. infact refuses to have further eyecontact and stares ahead as if we never had this heart to heart conversation at all!!!
& Finally 


Sect 3 : Their mantra : "Ignorance is bliss" .. i have tried everything :flailing my arms, showing my hand, whistling to get their attention ...but well "zooooooop"they just speed away as if they are competing in F1
Solution: Stand right in front of the speeding auto ... he will HAVE to stop!!

**Statutory warning: this solution can be injurious to your health