and I wont fight in vain.....

This post is about a very dear friend, I am going to write about how I have been feeling from past couple of days. The gale song makes so much sense.

You are someone I know,I guess I am not very sure of it right now. I dont think so I know you anymore.I really dont know how people deal with breakups and I try to avoid such moments in my life.Most of the time sadly I have broken up with people whatever the reason it may be.May be I am not good enough, May be I am not worth it Or may be I dont deserve this kind of behavior .

People judge me and I am okay with that as everybody is untitled to their opinions ,I too do that to others.However I cannot take people who judge me and pretend to be my friend for nothing .I see you and I dont like you anymore and I dont like to have such people in my life .

 I am strong headed who fears nothing but losing people I love.Right now I am mad at myself about not being able to keep people at my side. 

Happy New Year 2014

I hope we have the happiest year! I hope we're in great health, physically and mentally. I hope we smile absolutely genuine smiles really often, and live in the moment, and laugh till our tummies ache. I hope we discover some great films, books and music. I hope we learn a lot. I hope we find time to try our hand at some of all the things we've wanted to give a shot at. I hope good luck shows up frequently. I hope we find joy and contentment in our work but remain dissatisfied enough to keep us going for more, for better, for the best we can do. I hope we get a lot closer to the best we can be. I hope we feel a little more understood, a little more important, and a lot more loved. I hope we're kind, I hope we give generously, I hope we're sincere, and I hope we find the peace of mind that comes only from having a clear conscience. I hope we're safe from all that might cause harm or hurt. I hope life doesn't get too tough on us, but if it must, I hope we find all the support and courage we need to keep going. I hope we realize and consistently remember what we're worth, because we're worth so, so much.

Have a great year! Lots of love. 

Caution: This one goes out for the people who ever cared a shit about me."I am sorry for breaching the privacy of the people whom I have named if any  and my deepest apologies to people whom I know I have hurt knowingly.


More of  "Why do I always fall for men I can't have or I do not want to have ?


Age-14
Exhibit 1: Crush # ... Committed,Had a solid amour during school days ,he dated the most beautiful gal in my school Ms.M....y (She married someone else though) ,I never spoke to him and somehow he knows about me now.Nice Bengali chap , a doctor now, works in Delhi ...that's about it.... I know nothing about him.


Age-17
Exhibit 2: Friend# Nerd, bookworm,Excellent in studies, well versed and Successful compared to all friends,Zero interest in sex or love,liked a lotta gals but girlfriends he never had in life ....he really is a good friend.I know he still likes me but we cant be together because I like him but I don't want him. I miss him !


Age-21
Exhibit 3:College Senior # Really hot sexy dude who was in a long term relationship with someone else...mental/emotional connection....but just broke with his gal for me ....initially he never spoke to me ...probably because he feared I will mess up his "safe" situation.GREAT but the same dude finds me hotter and takes up a challenge to PATAO me and I kinda started liking him(he was hot n cute ---resembles Hrithik Roshan ..no kidding ) and then one fine day I leave him. Naaaah not my types ...

Age-22 

Exhibit 4 : ARK # My first boyfriend. I love him! Typical south Indian guy ..Telugu chap :) The best boyfriend a girl could ever have ,a Darling , a Sweetheart , He truly loved me.I was the first girl in his life .A big time orthodox and his family hated me cause I was a northi gal with red hair and ultra dash dressing sense  blah blah .........and We were too different to be together .we broke up badly.

Age-24

Exhibit 4: Colleague# I am dating this guy ..yes he is good .I guess he could the one with whom I would love to spend my life with.But I don't know about him if he feels the same way.Says "love never convinced him"...Hates commitments .

He speaks well,very eloquent ..but Cant talk to me continuously  without fail for more than 5 mins .Irony! Loves watching movies with me but hate showing me off to public!! Anyways I am not very positive about him but I like him ...Hope it works (Fingers crossed)

Do I seek out situations in which I am doomed to fail??? Or maybe I just like a challenge???? I hope something will work out eventually.... 

Awesomeness

Why do I always fall for things I can't have?

This time it is this bike owner .............

But I Cant drive !