I'm a vector quantity

I'm a vector quantity ....now that I have got magnitude and direction both ;)

I have no explanation for that claim though.

Sigh!.

I have no idea how this thing got into my head, its been really long i read about scalars and vector quantity 

All i remember is ...VECTORS are any-day better than scalars(scholars) , just bcoz they have a direction to follow.

I'm feeling good !
Like I found something ,some meaning ,some direction , Like every Vector has it !

Oh 
well! I guess ...Its one of my crapiest* philosophy ever made.LOL
(All works during exam time only .I Just wonder why)

P.S :"crapiest" is not a word i believe , i just made it up if it doesn't exist :D .

C I'm into this too now-a-days!!!

Change of Heart

It must be love. Nothing else explains:

the unbearable longing which I'm left to quell in your absence.

the frequent trips to the cafe, even if I'm broke, just to see if you're there.

the horrible twinge of jealousy when I see you with someone else.

the overwhelming joy when it's just you and me, alone.

how I don't want to share you with even my closest friends, though I force myself to do it with a smile.

how I want our little moments to last forever, if they could.

how, when it comes to you, money is nothing. And that's a big deal.

how you make my heart ache so much in the face of such sweet temptation.

how I want to loathe you but end up sinking deeper.

how I can honestly admit to myself that I love you.


This is for you, my dear CCD chocolate fantasy . No other mass produced pastry will capture my heart in quite the same way.

Oh well! goodnight ! love you all ! muuuuha.

NO TIME TO TYPE A TITLE OKIE !

I'm really in short of time..I need to rush.

What happened? :p

I gotta exam JEZ!...yeah Last exam of my PGDM. Can u feel how it feels !
It just feels awesome but then again it takes so much of effort to pass it too.

I havnt even completed 30 % of my course , its already midnight and Gudmorning in some countries :(
okie then ..am fading away.

Wish me luck n catch u guys after the exams ..That too ...only if i dont get a urge to blog my cow-web thoughts in between.(Am hopeless~Am smthing IDK)
Big GUDNIGHT to all !BTW am listening to Beatles...sahi hai ! Books and Beatles nice combo

Muuuuha .. <3

Love...

Jo

Rest In Peace, My Beloved

I never believed in love at first sight till I saw you. And the moment I held you in my hands, I knew that you were the one. Your face was lit up like an Angel with a halo and your voice was sweeter than a Siren. Ten minutes with you and I knew I wanted  you.

And what an amazing pair we made. Everytime I would bring you to class all eyes would turn to you. All men would want to hold you and all women wanted to know more about you. And I was so proud to show you off. I would gush about you to friends, to family, to colleagues and to anyone who would listen!

For 2 years n 13 days we went through the best of the times and the worst of the times. But we did it together. And you stuck by me. Despite my wayward ways. Despite all the attention I showered up on men right in front of you, sometimes even using you to flirt with them. On some nights, that I was too depressed to remember, I even treated you badly, pushing you out of the auto on the way to my room a few times. But you always made sure I am  happy and updated .

And then just like that you are no more. I can't believe it. I refuse to accept it. I feel so helpless without you. There is no one like you. You complete me. I miss you. I love you. I alway will.


Now that you are no more( I almost consider u dead the way u died with a horrible loud cry..so embarrassing OMG!)
So I have to find someone else to marry me.

Rest in peace, my beloved HPdv2000.

Goodbye Friends

Situation: Sitting and eating lunch may be for the last or second last time with friends.

Current emotion: I feel some thing...a peace, a restlessness..Or a cocktail of both!

Current  song on head : "tanha dil..tanha safar by shaan" 

what i felt.....

                                               

There are only few days left  for my college life to get over and I will be free from this bloodsucking dungeon!!
when I look back and see the black and white or sepia version of the video of the time spend , I really don’t know ..What have i contributed to this friendship!

I see myself laughing out loud with friends, I see myself patting their back for their good work , I see myself advising and giving gyaan at their bad. I see myself coming down in the priority list of good friends too

.yes! Those people whom I always kept on top in my priority list....but thatz just a part of the game.So am really okey with that,

I’m happy that, I will never see some of the faces and it gives me peace

(you know who:P) and am sad I will never see some the faces, never would be able to feel the warmth of their friendship.

It’s a different feeling altogether. I know I will never see some of the faces again. Never in my Life!!I know I will never hear their voices anymore until I want to, but wanting to talk and willing to talk should not be confused.

I don’t even know whether I have been at least a friend or not. Forget about being a best friend or even a good friend. I say that because no one ever referred me as his/her best friend. Yes! Never! No one!

I see so many people change; people who come so close that u tend to lose focus .
The point i wanna make is ..

We make so many friends, some became dearest, some became special, v fell in love with some, some went abroad, some changed their city, some left us, we left some, some got new friends ,some fell in love and changed priority ,we wanted to bcom friend with few,but they never cared, some wanted to bcom our friend , but we never cared.Some r in contact, some are not in contact bcoz of their ego,we don’t contact some because of our ego, Whatever they were, where ever they are.we still remember them, love them, miss them ,care for them coz of the part they played in our life.

And I don’t know,  how you guys are gonna be in future.

So friends! I just want to say ..i love you! you made my two years.!
and i wanna take out this time to say sorry for my mistakes...am sure i would have bothered lot many of you.

Have a good life ahead.cheers to our 2 years of life in hell.( literally) 

 I wud rather  just pat myself n say “it’s okay keep walking”

 YOU KEEP WALKING TOO!!

Jo

(yrs jo,,jo2, jo2 bhayankar, mutkus,chipmunk, sikhni,bawal, JPN, jodeeee,moti, devil,jyoti aunty, jo baby, pajji mei,hey yo jo, dusto mei,,jyoti madam,Answer.com, jyoti ji and blah blah..)


PS:This post goes out mainly for suru,tweety,machis,justy,scientist ,rocket, ringun,surabhi ,viral, kevin , murli, appu , anil (K)meena

Personal Reflections

I sometimes wish there were more people on Earth like me.

I need a Personal Reflections

Something/ Someone more alive who cares to understand my frame of mind.....  without  the wit of my words or without the value addition of my facial expression.

I'd call it: utopia meets hell. 

Never experience regret,pain, guilt, alliance, or cunning; at the cost of needing to worry for my life. 

Sometimes, I wish that more people were like me. 

but y....???

If you allow me to  explain....

 I'd need to share my wit, my gory humor, my deadpan sucked-dry verbal repartee, my secret web of thoughts encircling emotional jugulars...which i don't think am gonna do.But i know u need the justification for my words quoted above. ...i say that since most of my readers are engineers ,n they  need a logic for everything.

Am suffering from pollution of thoughts ..need to clear it up!

I don't know what my heart says ,seems there is a communication gap.
Heart just stops pounding for a while ...when see special people go away.
How many special people have changed and nothing seems to bother them.
I have got no clue ..y i demand for having more people like me...its just a feeling
it will too go away.......like the rest........but may be for me it takes time.

and then....again...... i don't know "how unique i am?"
..

...

....

And anyways , what's the fun in that? 

damn this feeling

Jo

Sexist Music Listener?

I was going through my Windows Media Player playlists just now and realised something: the artistes I listen to are almost all males. Seriously, in my Ear Candy playlist, there are only two songs by female artistes/bands with females in them out of thirty-seven. And in Slow Songs, again, there are only two songs, out of forty-four this time. In Random Ones, six out of a hundred and fifty-three. I have more playlists, but I'm too lazy -- and embarrassed -- to go through them.

Why is this so? I mean, I know there was a period of time where I was into slightly screamo stuff and I don't really like female voices in that particular genre of music, but that phase is over now. Do I have something against female artistes? And why should I? I myself am female and should therefore be supporting them, shouldn't I? Am I being sexist in my music choices or is this just the way my music taste is?

This is really weird. It doesn't matter much, I suppose. Still, it kind of bugs me a wee bit. Oh, well.

IDK wats on my mind..may b am sad or something almost like that.!!

 placed.

I want to write today about

I want to write today about many of my confusions of knowing things.
I want to write about the silence of not knowing what to say?
when you want to say a lot and quickly!


 I want to write about how it is impossible to put a patten onto your life and then live it, knowing the limits.


 I want to to write about making a choice and going at it head on and not changing, not thinking about the lose ends. 


I want to to write about making  another mess and another mess and leaving it at a mess up , for what I have done enough in this mess I live to experiment, and I'm not yet sure it was something I regret .




I want to to write about  the intense dissatisfaction I have in me ,being myself, and being myself in the lives of people 


Today, to write anything, is to put down my worry, my frown, that cold shiver that went down my spine when I thought of how I loved and hated, of how I live in a country with a billion people who similarly love and hate and WHO SIMILARLY wake up early in the morning and are bleeding internally, or having their breakfast and leaving in a hurry, or just are reading the newspaper . Of these people, the ones I know, what have I done in their lives? 


I want to write about thinking creativity..
when,Nothing is original anymore, it is theory of 're-usability' that rules the world.
when i talk about re-usability , am saying about going back to old things and start using it again.Talking about all the X things,  X-Crush,X-friend, X-boyfriend..old jeans,old memories + blah...where do you place yourself ? 


when you feel you belong nowhere!
sometimes you are just not fit for anything ..not even for yr clothes !


what is that feeling like ?
May be it tastes like hell!


what should you to do for fun ?
when u leave in a place where fun tends to be either  illegal, expensive, or far away? 


what do you say to yourself ?
when such rubbish the mind makes!

what if you collected everything that makes love,that you love, that feels love,would it be love?

and then if someone found it

rotting years later in the box in your bed,

would they find love?

and if you forgot about it

and thought you lost it

and then suddenly remembered

where its been, would it be

lost and found love?

is life like this?

like language?

where a word here or there

makes a huge difference

to the sense it makes...what do you do?

well may be for me ..i write.. Sigh!!

C for C

C for cause

C for choice

he says C for chance.

C for curiosity

C for craving

C for could we

C for caressing

C for cuddling

C for chatting up

C for convincing

C for confidence

C for commitment

C for companionship

C for caring

c for chal guru ..ho jaa shuru

however,

C for challenge

C for chal jaane de

c for chhod na yaar 

C for chaos too

C for carelessness

C for confusion

C for change

So you C, me and my fumbled life are open ended bracket - you C

C for complete me, please.

note:why do i write the way i do... and thats not a question.. its more like a sigh!!!!!!!

A FIRE DRILL TAKEN SERIOUSLY

(Readers i have been noticing that , most of my post are rated "FUNNY" , which is pretty contradictory to my blog title.In fact till now i haven't done justice to my blog.IDK..how to do that also.Anyways !certain things are better when they are left uncorrected ). 

This post is a very serious issue. PLZ DON'T RATE FUNNY ......there is no fire anyway.jeez
here is the narration...
A incident from my office days.That night, we had a fire drill at office. We were warned about this starting a week ago. Rest were calendared for it.It was all very realistic.like “Let’s go! You know what to do! Just like we practiced! Move! Move! Move!…Stand! Pick up nothing! Walk quickly and quietly to the door and form a single file line. 


Here I Am...( n this is me .. definitely )

Dutifully, your's truly, your's obediently,(how come your's but?)  locked computer, tossed hair back, very gracefully slipped my foot in my footwear and proceeded to nearest fire exit (well almost! How was I supposed to see the fire exit behind me?! Really!).


I was a Neophyte in office. Little did I know that I was to be brought so close to the realities of life. 

Our Emergency Response Team told me to take off my shoes and proceed. Fair enough.!


Which was OK until I started going down the staircase. That was when I noticed that I was amongst the minority. Ladies with beautiful platform heels, stilettos, clump heels sashayed down the staircase. Which was still fine - I am amongst the few who really know the importance of a fire drill. :P [continues to troop downstairs whilst keeping away from assorted debris on floor].

OK OK. This can't be happening. 


I am the ONLY ONE with no shoes. (gotta heart attack)


Really,
Emergency Response Team!! 


some call it cool on gals including chetan bhagat  ..eh...no idea about that but..i definitely appeared as a fool to my eyes.

Sigh. So it happens that I prance barefoot on the gravel, to avoid curious stares at my feet(which i hate the most), and literally crane my neck to see the fire safety demonstration that OTHERS WEARING HEELS ARE COMFORTABLY WATCHING!!! (with their 'elevated' status).


Moreover i was the fresh face there..naturally every1 was staring at me n my foot.( so embarrassing )

And that is when the epiphany happened. That is when it suddenly became clear as James Bond's martini to me. I knew what was important in life (and in case of emergency fire drills).[never again in life][its was just an drill..later did i realized]

If I have to tell you this one more time.. I want to save the most valuable thing - my shoes!!


 yes..my sexy silver Joothi ( mojri) . I was in my old fav jeans and some kinda T-shirt  n i was dying to go back to my floor to collect my shoes ,but my hard luck these rescue teams are very loyal n serious about their work.one of the fellow gave a big angry stare like trying to say " Are you crazy ...u silly girl"


yes i was silly 4 him. bcoz he is was a male and i'm a female.guys think girls are silly n dumb. ( big deal..so do we rite!)

When I am wearing my shoes...

 -- I can walk, I assure you! That is partly the reason I BOUGHT them.

 -- About the heels and stepping on toes bit,
 1) Other people are wearing heels too! My naked feet just leave me more vulnerable
 2) Stepping on other people's toes is quite the norm. (Ask any corporate salaried person) Also, quite a few men/husbands/boyfriends are used to this 'heel' treatment.

-- I am more confident in my heels. I can therefore assist more people getting them out of the fire. [Really, would you accept help from someone who is NOT wearing shoes when the floor is as hot as a cat's bum?]

See?

I love you, shoes.

And...nothing. I feel so blah. This is a stupid post, I apologise.

Am just another messed up kid.. : (